Who I’d bang
Posted by RichardCranium in The Full8
The list will get pretty long!
Oh my god, don’t get me started… Jessica Biel is HOT! She is so hot, I’d eat the corn from her poop. Hell, she’s so hot, I’d fuck her brother! (not in a gay way)
Jessica Biel has been on my list of broads to bang since I first became aware of her a few years ago, but as soon as the commercials for I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, where she sports a sexy little pair of panties and a ‘fuck-me-between-the-tits bra’ - I’ve been desperate to do just that! 
Not to mention a smokin’ hot ass that pops out just enough, but not J-Lo fat-ass, and a set of DSLs (Dick-Sucking-Lips) to die for… Oh man, how I wouldn’t kill to see my little pecker hidden behind those lips!
Even though I’m not a fan of tattoos, her little target-tat on her pelvis is A-OK with me. It would give me something to aim at after the about ten strokes I’d be able last when hitting that for the first time.
Of course, after that first fast one, I’d have time to de her all the nasty ways you only read about on online porn-story sites where the author is half illiterate and 100% criminally perverted!
And the ending? Let’s just say she’d have the biggest set of teeth I’ve ever come across… Pearly whites, thanks to yours truly!
Jessica-Biel-DSL-lips
Just when you thought an actress couldn’t get any more talented than she already is, Jessica finally unleashed the hounds, her latest movie, a direct to DVD flick was the role this hot piece of ass was born to play! - The former gymnist proved that you’re never too big a Hollywood star to hit the pole (strip pole, not producer-pole, I’m sure she’s been there, done that, plenty of times) she plays a super-super-sexy single mother stripper (what she most likely would have been, if not for a lucky break) who does some pretty impressive pole work, all while showing her amazing plump ass in a g-string, giving us plenty of slow pan shots of her flat tummy, and for the show stopper, plenty of footage of her AMAZING TITS! - I can’t say for sure they are fake, but real or artificial, they are MAGNIFICENT!
Thank you Jessica Biel, thank you for giving me plenty to work with this afternoon as I watch your soft-core porn, you are amazing, I love you, and I’d bang you in a heart beat!
p.s. - For those amazingly few of you who haven’t already seen the fuck-vid, here is a link to her new movie, “Powder Blue - click here” - actually, it’s just the stripper slut scenes, but from what I’ve read of the movie, the Jessica Biel nude video clip is all you really want to see of that flick. Enjoy! (aim away from the keyboard)
In case you still need some more material to ‘finish your research’ here are some more sexy photos of Jessica Biel in a bikini or almost nude!
jessica_biel_tits-ass-wallpaper
jessica biel bending over hot ass
jessica-biel-nude-teen
jessica-biel-nude-amazing-tits
jessica-biel-tits-wallpaper
jessica_biel_nude_crotch
jessica-biel-nude-belly-camel-toe
jessica-biel-with-my-load
Jennifer “Nipple” Aniston. What a titty queen. Her tits aren’t the biggest, they aren’t the perkiest, they aren’t even the best shaped, but goddamn, they are ALWAYS erect! - Is this bitch constantly turned on, or does she wear nipple-rings on those erasers like a man’s cockring?
She can’t act, she fucks every guy who shows up at her door with a 20 dollar bill and a line of blow, and she promptly gets dumped as soon as she gives up her ass, but she never gives up showing off those chewy nips!
Gotta love a skank that knows where her true talent lies. I’d invent a new style of sex if I had a chance to bone this bimbo, the “Nipple-Jack” - That’s where I’d grab her nipples, dag them together, and then use them to jack my Henry to completion on her surgically corrected schnoz.
When I got done with her, coke wouldn’t be the only thing leaking from her nostrils…
She’s got a pretty decent body for a middle-age washed up actress. (When was the last time she worked?) I don’t blame her for living off her Friend’s fortune, it’s really the right thing for her to do. Don’t even try to act in anything where you have to be anything besides a talentless waitress struggling to make ends meet.
Speaking of ends, 
I’d be glad to plow that huge back 40… Of course riding her rump would be like jogging through the Lincoln tunnel trying to touch both walls with your hands. just about every swinging dick in Hollywood large enough to make it off the casting couch has done a few touchdown dances in her poopshoot. I’d be more than happy to take a number at that lunch counter - Hell, maybe they’d drop confetti from the ceiling and walk out with a huge check for a million dollars for being the 0ne Thousandth passenger to ride the Jenny train?
Keep looking over your shoulder Jennifer Aniston, I cumming for you!
A little bathroom material for those of you who need it…
There are about 100 million women in the world that I’d bang, but I had to start somewhere, and I thought where better than to start with the reigning Queen of I’m Too Good for My Own Shit - Angelina Jolie
No doubt there are a million+ guys in the world who think Agelina is the bomb… But I’m not really one of them. - Sure, there are times when she looks pretty good, but there are just way too many times when she looks just like her dad, Jon Voight, and that is Ugly! 
One minute she has thick sexy DSLs, the next, she’s all fat lipped, chipmunk cheecked, with bags under her eyes and a classic Jon Voight grimace on her mug.
She reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry dates the two-faced chick.
So, you may be wondering at this point why the hell I picked this Baby-Buying Machine for my first WIBB (Who I’d Bang Bitch, for those of you who aren’t good with acronyms…) well, the answer is simple: I LOVE WHITE TRASH SLUTS!
And trust me, Angelina is a bonefied, top of the line, WTS! - One look at all of those skanky tatoos, and it’s a lock, she’d dissapear in a biker bar faster than a crack whore would blend into an alley in Harlem.
One tatoo, and you’re just another bimbo on the bandwagon, two and you’re just an ultra-trendy twit. Three tattoos and you’ve decided to come to grips with your lack of breeding.
By the time you get to the number of Gigantic, prison-yard tats that this twat is wearing, and you are either a stripper in a 3rd rate titty bar, or you’re boyfriend was the head ink guy in San Quentin.
Mmmm - love a tattood slut! Why? Because a girl that would permanently deface her admittedly great body with bad ‘artwork’ is obviously FUCKED UP! Everybody knows that if she’s fucked in the head, she’ll be a great fuck in bed.
Hell, just ask Billy Bob, whose blood she wore in a necklace around her neck, or her first husband, Jonny Lee Miller, 
whom she married while wearing a shirt with his name written on it in her own blood, or hell, ask her BROTHER, James Haven who she was apparently Full8ing in the limo on the way to the Oscars! Those are all signs of a fucked up chick… Yummm!
I don’t blame him, if she was my sister, I’d be banging her fo sho.
The first thing (Of Course) that I’d want to do with The Cuckoo One, is get my felaysh on. Those awsome DSLs (again, for the acronym challenged, DSL means Dick-Sucking-Lips, which Angie has a huge pair of) would fit my Mr Smith quite nicely.
And I’m pretty sure she’s used to equestrian work and if not, she would be once I was done with her….
I’d write more about this nutty-chick, but I’ve suddenly lost my train of thought,…?
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