Oh my god, don’t get me started… Jessica Biel is HOT! She is so hot, I’d eat the corn from her poop. Hell, she’s so hot, I’d fuck her brother! (not in a gay way)

Jessica Biel has been on my list of broads to bang since I first became aware of her a few years ago, but as soon as the commercials for I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry, where she sports a sexy little pair of panties and a ‘fuck-me-between-the-tits bra’ - I’ve been desperate to do just that!

Not to mention a smokin’ hot ass that pops out just enough, but not J-Lo fat-ass, and a set of DSLs (Dick-Sucking-Lips) to die for… Oh man, how I wouldn’t kill to see my little pecker hidden behind those lips!

Even though I’m not a fan of tattoos, her little target-tat on her pelvis is A-OK with me. It would give me something to aim at after the about ten strokes I’d be able last when hitting that for the first time.

Of course, after that first fast one, I’d have time to de her all the nasty ways you only read about on online porn-story sites where the author is half illiterate and 100% criminally perverted!

And the ending? Let’s just say she’d have the biggest set of teeth I’ve ever come across… Pearly whites, thanks to yours truly!

Jessica-Biel-DSL-lips

Just when you thought an actress couldn’t get any more talented than she already is, Jessica finally unleashed the hounds, her latest movie, a direct to DVD flick was the role this hot piece of ass was born to play! - The former gymnist proved that you’re never too big a Hollywood star to hit the pole (strip pole, not producer-pole, I’m sure she’s been there, done that, plenty of times) she plays a super-super-sexy single mother stripper (what she most likely would have been, if not for a lucky break) who does some pretty impressive pole work, all while showing her amazing plump ass in a g-string, giving us plenty of slow pan shots of her flat tummy, and for the show stopper, plenty of footage of her AMAZING TITS! - I can’t say for sure they are fake, but real or artificial, they are MAGNIFICENT!

Thank you Jessica Biel, thank you for giving me plenty to work with this afternoon as I watch your soft-core porn, you are amazing, I love you, and I’d bang you in a heart beat!

p.s. - For those amazingly few of you who haven’t already seen the fuck-vid, here is a link to her new movie, “Powder Blue - click here” - actually, it’s just the stripper slut scenes, but from what I’ve read of the movie, the Jessica Biel nude video clip is all you really want to see of that flick. Enjoy! (aim away from the keyboard)

In case you still need some more material to ‘finish your research’ here are some more sexy photos of Jessica Biel in a bikini or almost nude!

jessica_biel_tits-ass-wallpaper

jessica biel bending over hot ass

jessica-biel-nude-teen

jessica-biel-nude-amazing-tits

jessica-biel-tits-wallpaper

jessica_biel_nude_crotch

jessica-biel-nude-belly-camel-toe

jessica-biel-with-my-load

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I’ve done a few more “Digital Paintings” that I thought I’d add to the site.

This is of course my Che Guevara poster, (almost an obligatory pic for anyone who uses Photochop!)

I also did a couple of posters for my good buddy who was once again the LOSER in our latest writing contest - He tries to be a writer, but mostly he’s an outliner! He’s getting better, but in the mean time, I keep kicking his ass in our writing contests… Not because I’m a great writer, but because he hasn’t finished a story yet!

I also made this poster, and thought of a couple of quotes to add, but none of them really struck me as good enough, and ultimately I decided I liked it as is - what do you think?

I have done some other pictures, but I don’t want to upload them just yet, since they are all part of my latest writing contest project. (I’m writing a story that will also be a psuedo “illustrated novel”) - so there are several digital paintings for the novel, but I don’t want to put them here yet, just in case Greg looks at this, since it’s for our latest writing contest (that he will lose AGAIN!)

~PEACE~

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Lately I have been exploring my creative side again. (and no, this is not just another quirky euphamism for flogging the flagpole…)

I am in a second writing contest (the second annual AmGayDuWriCha contest) but quite honestly, the story I’m working on isn’t interesting me, and I only have about 7500 words to go, with ten days left to write it.

So, in the meantime, instead of writing, I have been ‘creating’ what I have termed “Digital Paintings” - Which is basically just a fancy way of saying that I take pictures, (mostly of myself up to this point) and then fuck with them in Photoshop, MSPaint, and Illustrator.

My inspiration has been the graphic artist/street artist, Shepard Fairey, the guy who did the now famous Obama “Hope” posters.

My work is of course nowhere as good as his, but what the hell, I’ve only been doing it for a week, and he’s had about 25 years and a degree in graphic arts to help him get up to speed.

Here are a few of my pieces. None of them have any special meaning, so don’t ask if they do.

This was the first one I did, a knockoff of the Obama poster:

then I did one of my ex-roommate,

and my chickenshit dog

This is my Russian Propaganda piece:

and this is my Cuban Propaganda piece:

I’ve also done some random ones based on whatever the mood of the picture struck me with:

a stamp? Circus poster?

Alternate ego of Gay Superheroes?

I have no fucking clue what this is or means?

If nothing else, these “Digital Paintings” have tought me that I am WAAAY more narcisistic than I ever imagined! I’m thinking of doing some ‘paintings’ of some of the sexy chicks in the world that I’d like to bang… so that might be my next ‘painting’ I add.

~Peace~

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This is the official site of the

First Annual

AmGayDuWriCha

mbiguously Gay Duo Writing Challenge)

This is where Aaron and his trusty sidekick Greg (Yeah, that’s right, I’m the leader bitch…) cum to hang out and show off they’re daily production. From December 1st, 2008 till December 31st, 2008, we are challenging each other to bang out at least a thousand strokes of the keyboard each day.

If a day goes by where you don’t write, it’s your responsibility to come to this official page to explain just why it was you were too fucking busy (read: LAZY) to write on that given day.

The Rules are simple: Put a minimum of 25,000 words on digital paper, creating a story that has a completed Begining, Middle, and End. Unless your story has all 3 of those components, it just don’t count mother fucker.

Is it a Bird? Is it a plane? No - It’s the OFFICIAL RULES!

<!– /* Font Definitions */ @fo

Official AmGayDuWriCha Contest Rules*

Ambiguously Gay Duo Writing Challenge

• 
  

  · Starting December 1st, you must write 25,000 words in a quasi-literate novella, to be completed by December 31st.

• 
  

  · There will be daily word count updates… (To ensure that even if you aren’t writing, you’re at least making excuses.)

• 
  

  · You can NOT start writing the story until December 1st, but you CAN outline and make as many notes as you want.

• 
  

  · You can’t use a story that’s already started, and just add 25,000 words to it - the novella that you write has to have a beginning, middle and end that was written during the AmGayDuWriCha month.

• 
  

  · The contest isn’t to see who can write 25,000 words first, but rather who can COMPLETE a story first, so while word count has to be a minimum of 25,000, you aren’t done until the Story is DONE!

• 
  

  · While this is a friendly competition and there isn’t a “WINNER”, if you don’t complete the contest, you will be considered a “Pathetic Loser Homo-Fag”…

• 
  

  · If you by some miracle finish your story, with the required minimum word count, before the 20 day mark, it will be assumed that you cheated, and you will be forever considered Gay.

• 
  

  · After the end of the AmGayDuWriCha contest month, stories (completed or not,) will be traded and read, with constructive criticism to be provided. (And only serious, helpful feedback will be allowed, any thoughts that ‘he can’t write for shit’ must be kept to yourself.)

• 
  

  · Winning contestants will have their completed novella Published on the prestigious website, www.Full8Me.com with the author’s byline, and the opportunity to include any illustrations that the author might like to include.

• 
  

  · AmGayDuWriCha contestants will have a forum to discuss their projects, and taunt their competitors online, with the objective of annoying their competitors into either being more productive, or giving up and admitting their homosexuality.

*All Rules are subject to change on a whim, and are only legally binding in Alabama and North Dakota.

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Many times I’ve thought that I’d like to have a pork pie hat, and I’ve looked for them several times with no luck. I was looking again yesterday and today, and again had zero luck.

Well, this evening while sitting in the RV, rocking back and forth in the hurricane gusts, I randomly plugged in Pork Pie Hat into Google, and started reading a couple articles… The first one was Wikipedia, and I noticed that it mentioned that it was the signature hat of Buster Keaton, and that he made his own, in fact he made Thousands (1,000’s) of them over the course of his career! - That piqued my curiosity, as it must not be that hard if he made that many of them…

So, I did some more digging, and discovered that low and behold, it IS EASY!! - In fact, I’m half way done making my own pork pie hat tonight! - I took that old, ratty, and when I found it at the bottom of my closet, completely crushed straw trilby fedora I got at Wal-Mart, and started the process.

I am including the link to the Buster Keaton site where it has a brief interview with Keaton explaining the process, and also below is an excerpt from a sax player who makes his own pork pies as well.

The Quote: from http://www.saxshed.com/soldo.shtml

Do you have a haberdasher?

I do have a haberdasher. World Hat Mart in Pasadena gives me the stock Stetson. I picked up how to make them from an old Buster Keaton article entitled &ldquo;How to Make a Pork Pie Hat.&rdquo; I went through the ABC&rsquo;s of how to do it and I learned from the master. It&rsquo;s an interesting process.

You take a sprayer bottle full of water infused with a hefty amount of sugar and spray the inside of the hat. You pull it out so it is round like a derby so it no longer looks like a Stetson.

Next you spray the hole inside and fold it in on itself. Then you put the hat upside down so it&rsquo;s flat and you get it right to the size that you need. Hopefully that size is going to be really close to the band.

You just take the crown and tap it down, tap it down and tap it down. Then fold it over on the inside and straighten it out. Use clothespins to clip it all the way around and wait till it dries.

Then you have a pork pie hat.

And here is the site where Keaton describes his process. (From my research, it’s just as common to have a straw pork pie, although ideally, a felt hat makes the most period correct for a Keaton-esque hat.)

http://www.busterkeaton.com/howto.htm

Once my hat is done, I’ll take some pics post them… right now the top is drying, and tomorrow I will flatten the brim. As soon as I whetted the top with the sugar water and flipped it over, it already looked like an awesome pork pie, so I am confident it will turn out great!!!

AN ADDENDUM: I didn’t really like the first hat, (I made it too short) so I went out and bought a cheap wool felt fedora at Target, and made a second one… This one I like better, but I want to make another one with a darker color, preferably with snazzier band, and I think I’ll make the next one even taller.

Here are the first two hats in all their glory.

The first attempt, with an old beat up straw hat…

and my second attempt, with a wool felt hat…

I look plenty sexy in the felt hat!

p.s. Greg, if you see this post, make sure to go the Trailer Trash site, I have a lot more pics there! (in the gallery)

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Most people don’t know it, but the blowjob was invented in 1972. It came out of the New York “swingers” scene. The American government supported the blowjob movement–it was seen as a way to get the average American back to work in a shorter amount of time. Before 1972, America workers spent an average of 80 hours a week in sexual congress with their wives.

The blowjob, although originally invented by bored drug users as another way to kill time, was seen by the government as a tool to increase productivity.

“With the Blowjob, workers spend less time in the sack and more time at their desks,” said Spiro Agnew in his role as the White Houses’ first Oral Sex Czar. In fact, it was soon discovered that workers could receive a blowjob while still sitting at their desks, but few workplaces actually implemented this innovation. Agnew, for all his official power, could not get desk-based blowjobs for the hard-working White House staff. (Several senior Senators, however, did manage to find the necessary funds in their budgets.)

Deep in the throat of the cold war, the blowjob was just the lever America needed to topple Communist Imperialism overseas. But what had the five-star generals in the Pentagon quivering, however, was not the expert attentions of the secretarial pool, but CIA field reports of a top-secret Soviet mechanized blowjob machine. The size of a football field, more than powerful enough to relieve an entire platoon of Red Army regulars in under four hours, the Pentagon saw this as the most immediate threat to national security.

General Curtis LeMay famously declared the “oral sex gap” and a crash program to build an American blowjob machine was begun deep in the Nevada desert under the dual expert guidance of Edward Teller and Dr. Harold Kinsley. Several billion dollars were poured into DARPA (the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration) but, after three years of trying, DARPA admitted failure when a visiting General LeMay was better serviced in a nearby brothel than by the machine itself. In a final memo to President Ford, LeMay decried DARPA’s work as “better suited for masturbation than oral satisfaction” before committing suicide, fearful that this great nation would crumble under the sated Red Menace.

(After the end of the cold war, several generals from both sides met in Geneva. It was revealed that the “Blowjob machine” was nothing more than another Soviet maskirovka: empty inside, constructed of nothing more than cardboard; soldiers engaged in congress with the machine were coached on the proper facial expression to affect for the passing U-2s and spy satellites. The DARPA project was never fully shutdown and later became known as the DARPAnet, which was the foundation for today’s Internet.)

In America, it was a time of experimentation. Other orifices, such as the ears and nose, were explored for their sexual potential. Ad campaigns and public-service announcements on radio and television tried to attract a skeptical public:

“‘Blow’ is just a figure of speech.”
“The nose knows a good time.”
“Stick it up your nose.” — a popular slogan until it was appropriated by cocaine users
“Just the wax, ma’am” — Joe Friday from Dragnet did the ads for Aural sex
Blowjobs became government-supported under the administration of Gerald Ford, who was given the first nationally-televised blowjob during his 1975 state-of-the-union address. “Wow, that’s great!” said an enthusiastic Ford. American productivity shot upward during the Ford administration, in part thanks to hordes of American women who worked hard to keep their men working–and got a government check to boot.

The program lost favor in the Reagan years when it was discovered that gay men could use the technique as well. Reagan’s oft-heard stump speech told of a government-supported woman, “a welfare queen who used her blowjob money to buy cadillacs and even foreign autos.” (While seemingly apocryphal, this story seemed true enough that several Cadillac dealers offered reduced prices to blowjob-givers, to “keep them buying American.”) But the program could never be killed, even under Reagan. Casper Weinberger fought tooth and nail to keep it. “I’ll give government cheese to poor people before I’ll give up blowjobs.”

Finally, the government paid out its last blowjob check under George Bush, who quietly closed the program down. The last blowjob in America was given in the waning months of 1989. An era had ended.

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I’m constantly trying to make a little extra dough to spend on the bling, and this time around I’m learning how to make that money long term…

I’m checking out John Cow and his new Storestacker software program, which seems pretty cool. From what I can figure, the StoreStacker software is like BANS or PhpBay on Steroids! With the click of a button, you can create a niche site that is loaded with not just eBay store items, but also Amazon, Clickbank and Overstock.com - Holy Cow!! That’s amazing!

John Cow is also holding a contest where you can win some pretty good prizes, including the StoreStacker software ( go to http://storestacker.com for details) an iPod, iPhone, xbox 360, Bose headphones and some other cool stuff! - Click here to check out the contest: http://www.johncow.com/win-big-time-with-storestacker/

I’ll keep you posted to let you know if I won any cool stuff, and how it’s going in my ongoing quest to earn enough dough to buy some love!

Richard Cranium

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Cunnilingus tips:

First of all girls, Be clean! Nobody wants to eat bad tuna…

Have a shower or bath together first. This will help make things taste and smell better.

Be enthusiastic

We’re only doing this because we want you to be happy, so let us know if we’re wasting our time or not…

Don’t go down on her unless you really want to. Women can tell if you’re less than enthusiastic. (The trick here is to tell yourself “This will almost definitely lead to her OWING me a Blowjob!)

Start slowly

Chicks aren’t as hot to trot as guys, so don’t just jump in and start motorboating that thing.

Avoid going for her clitoris right away. Tease her first. Lick around her clitoris. Remember, when starting out too little is better than too much. Even though you’re A-Ok with her licking the tip of your dick right from the get-go, the Little-Man-In-The-Boat is a sensitive guy, so don’t just jump on him.

Listen

Use your ears as well as your mouth and tongue. Listen to her moans of pleasure. Ask her to let you know what she likes. Who knows, maybe she’ll be just as much of a trash-mouth as you are… then you can really get into you filthy dirty slut, yeah… suck that shit, you fucking trailer trash whore… ooops.. sorry.

ABC

When using your tongue on her pussy try writing the letters of the alphabet with your tongue using a continuous motion. The letters “Z” and “N” can be especially enjoyable for her. Try writing her a note like; “My Turn Next, and I’m Cumming On Your Face Too.”

Make some noise

Let her know how much you’re enjoying giving her head. Do it with enthusiasm! Once you’ve gotten her juices flowing, doing the motorboat is Okay… Tell her how much you love having her sticky crotch lube all over your face.

Her clitoris

When she is ready lick and suck her clitoris. Remember though that some women cannot handle direct contact on their clitoris even when they’re really excited. If that’s the case, just give it a few licks now and then, but if she likes getting her nubbin-rubbin on, suck that little clitty like it’s a half inch dick and you’re the queerest fag on the block sucking off Brad Pitt!

Variety is the spice of life

You can give her different feelings by using your tongue in different ways. A flat tongue will give her a feeling like a soft caress. A rigid tongue will give more direct and firm stimulation. Don’t be afraid to jam your tongue right up her gash, try to lick her G-spot. If you make it, you’re her hero, and if you don’t, at least you’ll stick in her memory as the ‘Gene Simmons guy who went nuts on my junk.’

Don’t stop

In general women like steady stimulation. So don’t stop, especially when she’s about to come. that’s the Holy Grail, chances are you won’t get a real one, she’ll just be faking it so you’ll stop slobbering all over her twat (thank god it’s almost over,) but if she really does pop a cork on you, now’s your chance, during that brief glow afterwords, she’s at her most likely to let you plug her poop shoot!

Good luck!

Not what I was referring to:

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Just kidding… unless you’re a hot chick (or female and under 60…)

I am dedicating this site to my unending quest for the Holy Grail of the Male World… Fell-aysh-e-o (Also known as: coitus-in-os, corvus (obs.), bully-in-the-muzzle, cannibalize, cap, catch-a-bird, cherry-flip, chew (it), chew-foreskin, chew-the-goo, chew-the-slough, clean the pipe, cock-suck, cock-sucking (cocksucking), cop-a-bird, cop-a-joint, cop-a-doodle, cop-a-cock, cop-a-crown, cop a hot one), cuff-a-carrot, deep-throat, derby, dick-lickdick licking, dick sucking, dickie lick, dinner-beneath-the-bridge,

double-wedding, drop-on-it, eat, eat-cock, eat-corn-the-long-way, eat-meat, egg McMuff(in), face-fucking, face-pussy, facial, fancy-lip-service, fast-food-sex, feed-one’s-face, Felicia, flute, butterfly-flick, French arts, French culture, French-head-job, French-job, French-kiss, French-lessons, French-language-training, French-love, French-polishing, French-sex, French-tricks, French-way, Frenching, fuck-in-the-teeth, gaelick, gam, gargle-it, get-a-facial, get-down, get-blown, get-down-on-one’s-knees, get-head, get-it-off, get punked in the head (or in the mouth), get-skull, give a blow jjob, give-cap, give-a-face-job, give-face, givew good head, give-cone, give-head, give pearl, give-skull, give-up-your-face, give-us-a-gam, gnaw-the-nana, go-down, go-down-and-do-tricks, go down on, go-down-route-sixty-nine, go down route 69, go-south, gob-the-knob, gobble (the goo or goop),

gobble-the-worm, gobble-prick, gobble-rod, gob-job, gob-the-knob, going-down-(like-a-submarine), gorp, grab-a-hot-one, grab-a-bird, gum-it, gum-job, gunch, halfway-around-the-world, hardcore-facial, have-a-lollipop, have-some-cream-sauce, he-blow, head, head-job, hoover, hooverism, hose-job, hum-job, hum-a-tune-(on-the-flute), inhale-the-oyster, jawfest, kiss-it-(down), kiss-the-worm, kneel-at-the-altar, knish-ka-bob-mug, knob-job, knob-polishing, knob-shining, knobber, knobbing, knobble, knock-somebody-off, kowtow-chow, larro, lay-the-lip, lick, lick-a-prick, lick-dick, lipstick-on-a-dipstick,

lollipop-lick, make-mouth-music, medolingus, mouth-music, mouth-fuck, mouth-job, mouthlove, mouth-music, munch (stump), nob-a-job, nose-to-hose, oral-job, oral-sex, orbit, oyster-stew, pearl-diving, penis-mouthus, penisuction, peter-puff, picnic, picnic-on-it, picnic-up-on-it, picnic-lunch, pipe(-job), piston-job, plate of gam, plate-of-ham, plate, play-a-tune, play-bugle-boy, play-chipmunk, play-musical-arrangements, play-on-the-flute, play-on-the-horn, play-on-the-skin-flute, play-the-horn, play-the-skin-flute, play-the-flute, play-the-organ, playing-hoopsnake, playing-the-piccolo, playing-the-schweinte,

polish-the-knob, pricnic (pricknic), prick-lick, puff-on-some-tubing, pull-some-peepee, put lipstick on the/his dipstick, receive-holy-communion, root, rooting, rubber-necking, Sally, say-high-mass, scarf-(up), scoff, scooby-snack, scorf-up-on-a-bod, scumsuck, serve-head, service, short-arm-practice, play-mouth-music, skin-the-weinie, skin-the-banana, skull-buggery, skull-fuck, skull-job, skull-pussy, skulling, slob-the-knob, slob-job, smoke, smoke-the-beef, soil-one’s-knees, soul-kiss, speak-Low-Genitalese, speak-to-the-head, steal-a-bird, stoop-for-it, suck, suck-cock, suck (off), suck-a-bondini, suck-a-fatty, suck-cock, suck-dry, suck-head, suck-the-sugar-stick, swab-the-tonsils, swallow cock, swallow-the-roe, swallow-the-pipe, swallow a/the sword, swallow-the-worm, swing-on-it, swing on some, flivver, take-somebody-on, take-it-in-the-mouth, talk-to-the-mike, talk-turkey, tickle-the-ivories, tickle-the-tonsils, titty-oggy (tittie-oggie), tongue-courting, tongue-fuck, tongue-on, tongue-job, tongue-sushi, tongue-wash, tonsil-hockey, go travel (down) route sixty-nine, travel (down) route 69,

trick-off, the ultimate kiss, velvet-job, wean, whistle, whistling, whomp-down-on-it, whomp-it-up, worship-at-the-altar, wring-it-dry, yummy-down-on-it, yummy-it-down, yummy-up-on-it, zipper-dinner, zipper-sex, fellation, fellatorism, oral copulation of the penis, penilinctus, penilingism, penilingus, penosugia, phallalingus, virilingus, bagpipe, basket-lunch, bell-polishing, bite-the-big-one, bite-the-crank, blow-job, blow-my-hat, blow-my-horn, blow-the-pipe, blow-the-whistle, blue-jay, bob-on-the-knob, bucket-head, French language training, skull fuck, skull buggery, serve head, short-arm practice, pull some peepee, smoke the beef, soil one’s knees, speak to the head, skulling, stoop for it, suck a bondini, suck a fatty, suck the sugar stick, swallow a sword, take it in the mouth, trick off, ultimate kiss, the, whistling, have a lollipop, irrumated, knob job, lick-dick, munch stump, nob-a-job, peter puff, pipe-job, play on the skin flute, play musical arrangements, play on the horn, play on the flute, play bugle boy, playing the schweinte, playing the piccolo,

French head job, French polishing, get a facial, get blown, get punked in the mouth, get punked in the head, give cone, give cap, give us a gam, go down for whomp, gob the knob, bite the big one, blow my hat, blow my horn, cannibalize, chew the slough, chew the goo, corvus, cuff a carrot, dick-licking, dick-sucking, eat cock, eat meat, feed one’s face, dick-lick, drop on it, derby, cop a joint, cock-sucking, cop a hot one, cop a crown, cherry flip, bucket head, bob on the knob, BJ, gobble the goop, gobble the goo, gob job, gobble, gorp, go south, go south with the mouth, give pearls, give skull, get skull, get down, get head, French passive, French vice, French job, fast food sex, play mouth music, play chipmunk, mouth-whore, penis mouthus, lipstick on a dipstick, make mouth music, mouth fuck, hooverism, tongue-fucking, tongue job, take somebody on, tickle the ivories, tickle the tonsils, tickling the ivories, tongue-fuck, tongue courting, suck cock, speak Low Genitalese, scumsuck, skull job, put lipstick on his dipstick,

rubber necking, sixty-nine queen, puff on some tubing, suck dry, slob the knob, tea bagging, tooth somebody to death, wean, tongue-on, head date, lollipop lick, orbit, Phil Latio, oral Annie, play a tune, play the horn, Fr, fellatrant, fellatricial, fellare, glory hole sex, go around the world, gnaw the nana, gobble prick, gobble rod, blow the pipe, B.J., balls and all!, butterfly queen, butterfly flick, bull by the souse, chew foreskin, cop a cock, cock bath, devil’s kiss, dick breath, drag hustler, dicky lick, wring it dry, zipper sex, zipper dinner, hardcore facial, gaelic, dinner beneath the bridge, do somebody, fags toothbrush, fancy lip-service, dick-drinker, cop a doodle, cop a bird, circle fuck, car whore, catch a bird, bull twister, bully in the muzzle, bone queen, boy-scout queen, basket lunch, bell polishing, 69ing, around the world in eighty ways, ayuga, blue jay, bite the crank, gargle it, fuck in the teeth, gag reflex, get one’s nuts off, get one’s balls off, get one’s ashes hauled, get down on one’s knees, French lessons, French love, gunch, gum it, grab a bird, grab a hot one, gobble the worm, go down and do tricks, go down route sixty-nine, go for sushi, give up your face, give yaloo, give a face job, give good head, prime it, plate, piston job, oral service, nose to hose, oral job, picnic on it, picnic up on it, picnic, picnic lunch, inhale the oyster, mouth job, mouth music, knobble, kowtow chow, larro, lay the lip, lick a prick, kiss the worm, kiss somebody’s down, kiss it (down), hose job, hum-yum girl, have some cream sauce, head job, he-blow,

whomp down on it, whomp it up, woof up on it, travel route sixty-nine, travel down route sixty-nine, tongue wash, talk to the mike, talk turkey, swallow the pipe, swing low, swing on it, swing on some flivver, suck-sucker, suck off, sugar stick, swallow the roe, spinach queen, steal a bird, purple-veined tonsil-tickler, put lipstick on the dipstick, Sally, say high mass, scoff, scooby snack, scorf up on a bod, receive holy communion, yummy it down, yummy up on it, yummy down on it, around the world, blow the whistle, cap, come-freak, come-queen, deep-throat, Felicia, egg McMuffin, egg McMuff, eat corn the long way, going down (like a submarine), gum-job, French active, French sex, French tricks, French way, route 69, route sixty-nine, skull pussy, slob-job, swallow-cock, tongue, velvet job, tongue sushi, tonsil hockey,

worship at the altar, kneel at the altar, knob polishing, hum job, jawfest, knobber, knob shining, knish-ka-bob mug, knobbing, little tongue sushi, munch, plate of ham, penisuction, fix someone up, blow job, fellation, coitus in os, coitus per os, phallalingus, penilingism, penilingus, penosugia, pipe, hummer, whistle, titty-oggy, fellate - and maybe a few others I didn’t think of…?)

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